Melancholy me.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

22.06.2007
My math teacher is like the devil. In fact, she is worst than the devil. The devil looks nice and friendly next to her. She’s a living breathing, walking, talking, and UGLY nightmare. Alive to make my life hell…bad…horrible. Words cannot describe how much she plagues my life. When she opens her mouth, talk she craps. Shouting. Screaming. Making my ears bleed with her so-called soothing voice. Picking on me because I represented the school for the debate and was away fro six days. I bloody hell represented the school!!! And you’re f*cking pissed at me? And YOU pick on me? (And Ranjini my fellow debater). I have sacrificed so much for the f*cking debate and competition and this is the “thanks” I get?! Vomit. She also hates me because I joined the drama competition. Is it my fault that I got the lead? Arg. She also picks on this group in my class. I mean, if were to do something wrong, it’ll be a BIG issue but if the prefect gang were to…its ok. WHY be so prejudice. You’re a fucking WHORE that’s why. She made 88% (I calculated…hey, its math J ) of the class stand that day for supposedly “not listening to her instructions” wtf. 29 girls did the same thing! Doesn’t that give you a clue?! Heloo!!! Maybe the four girls who did “correctly” were actually wrong! NOT THE OTHER WAY. I understand if you don’t have dress sense, a good haircut and that you’re not getting any at home but please don’t take it out on us! And she refuses to mark my work. WHY? Because I didn’t pass up. Well you said that “you pass up after PPT, I’ll mark. You pass up after holidays, I’ll mark. As long as you pass up”. Well she made up the crap rule about “if you don’t pass up the work before in that book I won’t make the recent work as its not complete yada yada yada yada bla bla bla”…you get the idea. I’ve been busy these few mornings, not my fault I’m a freaking prefect and I have duty in the mornings! I planned to see her on Friday to get everything ticked and marked and etc but she called me and asked me. So I told her what she told me…wait…us…the whole class la. And she was like “so you want to pass up now or not”
“But teacher, you said…”
“Don’t debate with me. I know you’re very good at debating”
I was thinking WTF BITCH! How does this connect to debating?
So I looked at her in the huh way and she looked at me and said “go back to your place. I don’t want to see your face anymore. Like this means…don’t pass for the rest of the year” thinking ill be like
OH NO TEACHER! DON’T ! Let me pass up. Let me lick your shoes. Let me be your slave because of math book 2”.
I walked back. Note to those reading my blog: the reserve psychology thing doesn’t work on me.
So, fine! I won’t pass up. And if she asks Ill quote her again. Plus, I don’t even need her. I got Sash and dad. Anyways apart from math, I really really really really times infinity hate school. Death is looking like a good option. There are many means of a painless death which I can choose from if I ever wanted to kill myself. But…I know my life will improve. Mum says keep your chin up and you’ll pull through. But I don’t think I can. I hate everything from teachers to the ministry. I don’t have much interest in subjects that I have to take. I want to have that choice. I want to learn world history not some Islam crap (no offence). In short, I want to go to dalat international school. I’ve been trying to convince mum since last year but she thinks it’s a phase or something. It’s not. I am deeply, truly unhappy. I feel so down. I wake up every morning. Sad. Because I have to walk through the gates of hell…once again. I don’t belong there. I belong in dalat. Among people whose education is not compulsory and international. I deserve that. I know I do. I cannot take it anymore. It’s like i'm screaming inside. No words can describe this feeling.

TITLE:

@ 3:06 PM